Sleep Draining...I Mean Training

Me yell all night long? Never...

Our children are mirror opposites of each other: Lucy is a hellion all day long who takes careful managing and a doctoral degree in psychology just to get dressed and out the door but at night she typically sleeps like a rock and doesn't bother a person. Josie is happy go lucky all day long and is equally entertained by eating cheerios at home, eating sand at the park, or eating carpet lint at school but at night she is hell baby who wants constant hand holding, rocking, and shushing just to get through until dawn.

Despite our enjoyment of all the Josie cuddling and even the sweetness of rocking her to sleep, watching her sleep, or having her rolling around in our bed from 3 AM until 6:30 AM, we finally decided it was time to bring out the smack down (as our friend Kyle says, "when the going gets tough, SMACK DOWN!"). We have tried various methods to enhance Josie's sleeping capabilities. To be honest, it is basically inconceivable to us that Mitch and I could have a child who is not a good sleeper. We both LOVE sleeping and are insanely good sleepers (fire alarms? no problem. urban noise? no problem. crying cats? no problem). I think we were both in denial that we would actually have to do something to get Josie to be a better sleeper, secretly we were both thinking she would grow out of it. Which sounds perfectly reasonable until you talk to some of our friends whose daughters are 7, 9 or 11 and who still sleep in their parents beds...

So we tried to let Josie cry it out a month or so ago. She seemed too stressed (after an hour of crying) and we caved. Mitch tried the no cry sleep solution (which our friend Becca calls the no sleep cry solution) but I couldn't implement a method that repeatedly asks one to risk not getting your child into a solid sleep by cutting out one or more of your eight gajillion sleep routine activities. Me, I'm either in or I'm out. I'm either going to soothe that baby so much that she won't wake up if world war III starts or I am going to sit in the living room and do nothing while she screams her lungs out. There's no in between for me.

So we started letting Josie cry it out on Saturday night. The method we are using is from some funky 1980's book by some guys who actually work at a place called the Crying Baby Institute (it sounds like a joke, doesn't it?). The CBI is at an actual university, even if it is one that you've never heard of (I've never heard of it anyway). It is a slightly harsher version of the Ferber method that seems to work on hard cases who will cry forever (like Josie). We let her cry for five minutes, then a quick check with no soothing. Then we let her cry with quick checks every 20 minutes until she falls asleep.

The first time we tried it was a nap time and she cried for an hour and then we let her get up (no nap). That night she did o.k. with a 25 minute crying period at bed time, following by lots of waking up but only one hour long episode at midnight that required quick checks. Although I must say she was clearly pretty darn peeved about the new system (picture her yelling for hours in baby language, "WHERE IS MY CUDDLING???? WHERE IS MY HAND HOLDING? WHAT THE @!**@!! IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE??? I'M AWAKE IN HERE - BY MYSELF!!! DO YOU NOT HEAR ME???") Last night she actually slept through the night after one quick check at 10 PM.

It is still pretty hellish. We're sleeping in the living room (to give Josie peace and quiet in our room). Lucy is waking up repeatedly at night because she has a cold and also because she wants to experience the novelty of everyone camping out in the living room.

Considering that sleep deprivation almost had me crying in the mall at lunch time on Sunday because they only had one piece of cheese pizza left (when I needed two - one for me and one for Lucy), all I can say is that if some heinous turn of events results in the McCain Palin sideshow being elected and then Palin ends up as President, I hope either that her child is a hell of a lot better sleeper than mine or that she doesn't feel about nannies the way she feels about personal chefs.

Bath time

Who Are You This Time?

In a political race that just gets nuttier and nuttier, we now have the republicans, the incumbent party, in control of the Congress and the presidency for at least 6 of the last 8 years, now claiming to be the agents of change. John McCain's acceptance speech last week referenced himself and his policies as a whole new deal and as a team of Washington outsiders. The idea that an individual who voted with George Bush 90% of the time and who is a career politician is now trying to package himself as an agent of change and someone outside of the beltway is ridiculous. The only thing more outrageous is that some people are actually buying it.

Yes, John McCain used to be an independent thinker who worked across party lines. But since that stance got him exactly nowhere in the 2000 presidential campaign, he has been cuddling up to his parties base ever since.

This whole find a woman and start talking about change strategy feels like republicans trying to dress up in democratic clothing. I'm offended that they aren't actually focusing on what they really have going for them instead of trying to pretend to be something they are not. Why not focus on McCain's experience, his honest passion, his knowledge of foreign affairs and military strategy? Why not pick a running mate who would compliment these skills and bring another experienced mind to the table? Instead they are trying to take hold of what is working for Barack Obama, the idea of new blood in Washington and a change in America.

I find the whole republican strategy offensive and bewildering. Not surprising since I am, in fact, a democrat.

Weekend Update: San Diego Generosity

We had an awesome weekend visit to San Diego. The trip down was hell (drive should be 3 hours, took 5 hours, you read between the lines). We got to see all of our great friends who, as always, amazed us with their wonderful generosity, great conversation, funny commentaries, and general good peopleness. Our friend's Becca, Rob, Ava, and Max let us stay at their house and cooked us many great meals. Our friends Tom and Allie and Tim and Caitlin made lots of time for hanging out with us, brought over lots of great food, Caitlin did her cooking for crowds magic, and they made me MARGARITAS!! Allie cooked us an awesome barley stew and some kick ass cobbler that we ate with ice cream when we got home. And get this, Ava, who is only three (almost 4) actually gave Lucy one of her prized toys (a stuffed dog) when Lucy left. Lucy is now obsessed with the thing and carries it everywhere.

It was a blast to see everyone and get in so much hanging out time. We really appreciate how flexible all of our friends are and how much they tolerate our flaky nature, our kid-existence restrictions, and my constant need for naps. A great time was had by all. Big thanks to all of our SD buddies.

Touch Me I'm Sick

One of the odd things about tiny kids is that they often don't feel good but they seldom tell you that they are sick. In general, at least with our kids, what typically happens is that they act even more beastly than usual and just when you think to yourself, "Hmmm, maybe now IS the time to put Lucy by the side of the road with a for sale sign on," you take her temperature and find out that it is 103. (then of course you feel guilty for giving her ten thousand time outs when what she really needs is some ibuprofen and some orange juice...)

Since I often share sippy cups, snacks, juice, yogurt, and everything else with both Lucy and Josie, I typically get whatever they have. Having your kids sick with the same thing that you have (or being a day or two ahead or behind) is an interesting psychological experiment. I find myself feeling crabby with a sore throat and then all of a sudden I notice that Lucy is having a temper tantrum every ten minutes. Or, for example, yesterday I was very tired and crabby all day long. I came home and had a great time watching Lucy and Josie actually play together nicely for an hour or so. But come bed time, I found myself having to hold Josie's hand every hour all night long while she crabbed it up. And I was thinking, "I am going to have to go sleep in the garage and let this needy hell child cry it out." But guess what? Today I woke up with a snotty nose and sore throat. So who do you think probably had a sore throat and felt cruddy all last night??

Just when I am ready to give my children away and return to an existence where the only creatures dependent on me have fur and can be left outside, it turns out that we are all just a little bit sick and some vitamin C and extra rest will make the world a livable place again...

NBA not in session

One of the excellent side benefits of a presidential election occurring outside of the NBA regular season is that Mitch is searching for things to read about obsessively on the internet. Typically I am a much bigger political junkie than Mitch who thinks that all politicians are liars and crooks regardless of political affiliation. Thus it is usually difficult for me to engage Mitch in lengthy discussions of the evil doings of this or that politician.

Now that we have the Barack Obama versus John McCain battle going on and no basketball to distract, Mitch is actually interested in politics. I know it won't last and that is fine. But it sure is fun to have someone on the home front (other than my dad) to discuss politics with.

By the way, just to clarify, this is, of course, an extreme simplification of Mitch and his world view on politics and all other things. But it is true that he is more interested in this presidential election than in other recent political goings-on and it is true that I am greatly enjoying his knowledge, interest, and commentary.

You are just TOO crafty

So the old white guy has added a hot woman to his ticket. Crafty, crafty, crafty. Now we have African-American and old white guy versus old white guy and woman. It does make the playing field in the making history department a little more even. Although I must say that a novel PRESIDENT is worth more points in the history department than a novel vice president. Now is there anyone on earth who thinks that the republicans would ever have chosen a female vice president if the democrats didn't have an African-American presidential candidate? They are crafty, crafty, crafty.

I'm not so sure about Sarah Palin though. Let me just lay all my personal baggage on the table here. Let me get into the petty. Who has five kids in today's world? Especially in America? I hope they are all environmental innovators or champions for peace and justice, or else Sarah Palin owes the world (yes, I am living in my glass house of two kids and throwing some big stones. I said I was going to be petty and baggage laden). And what about those Congressional earmarks? And what kind of a name is Trig (isn't that an abbreviation for Trigonometry? As much as I liked that class I still wouldn't name my kid Trig.). And, no matter how much I am for do-it-yourselfness, I would rather pay my highly paid governor to work a few hours at home in the evening on important government issues rather than have her making home cooked meals because its too white-collar to have a chef (can I have her chef? Mitch is getting tired of cooking all the meals and there is only so many times that a person can have tofu dogs or frozen pizza for dinner...no offense to Mitch - you don't see me lifting a finger in the kitchen for cooking OR cleaning during the week).

I'm just not sure about young Sarah as a vice president. I applaud her achievements. It is amazing that she is a state governor at 44. It is amazing that she is a mom of five and still does all of her professional work. Clearly she is kicking butt and taking names. But she does seem to have made some dubious choices in the political arena (and Trig, really?) such as being anti-choice, getting lots of money in earmarks (although that is what politicians do, but it is hard to claim to be against them when you have worked so hard to get a lot of political pork yourself), and perhaps suggesting that your staff might want to have your nasty ex-brother-in-law fired.

I'm just saying interesting person with great achievements, but vice president??? I don't think so.

P.S. Is it just me or does she look too much like a hot glasses model? I just have this feeling that she was not a nerdy ugly duckling kid with glasses... Does she even need those things or are they a prop to give a more studious look?

P.P.S. And if you really think that women who voted for Hillary Clinton are going to now vote for John McCain because he has a female vice president, then you are out of your freaking gourd. No amount of ovaries can overcome anti-choice, nutty political party affiliations, and a whole slate of entirely right wing points of view. Need I remind you that Hillary Clinton is a DEMOCRAT?